Three years ago today a very beautiful and unique friend gave in to her battle with cancer, she didn't make 40, she didn't get to have all those conversations she wanted to have with her young son and daughter, she didn't get back to all the places she wanted to see again and all those she hadn't got to yet, she didn't get to grow old with the man she loved... as she herself said to me "so many losses".
This person who taught me to take stock of the small details every day, to prioritise experiences, to see the beauty in the world around me, to be brave and trust myself, to cherish friendships, the only person who still wrote me paper letters - she's gone.
There is virtually not a day that goes by where I don't think of her, many times I feel that I am not honouring her because I am here and usually complaining about all that is in my daily life - when she can no longer have that.
She wanted to just endure her predicament and leave this world enjoying life - but her family begged her to fight - and so she did, and it robbed her of any quality of life in the end- but she felt she had to do it for them - she thought they needed to know she wanted to be here for them more than anything else - and in the end it had spread - this person who loved words and used them to such perfection, lost her ability to write and could barely talk in the end - her brain so racked with this disease.
It still saddens me so much, but I have those letters and I can hold them, and see her writing (you don't get that with emails and texts), I have all the photos, my daughter has her name, and I have all the memories.
I will attempt to live life to the fullest for her and because of her.
Love you Charlotte
xxx 
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