10 things ….

Well I thought the days of this blog were over … for various reasons I started doubting its place in my world and that of other's, but then a good friend told me she enjoyed my posts because they made her laugh - and if there is one thing I like to do its make people laugh (either at or with me). So E … this one's for you.

Lists - I always write them - usually for mundane items, but this one may be slightly more interesting than milk, bread, toilet paper …

10 things people don't generally tell you about kids and motherhood

1: Trying to understand your children as their personality develops is like visiting another planet on a daily basis.
2: Anxiety is your new best friend.
3: Being late, dishevelled and wearing the same thing all the time is the only image you seem to maintain with ease.
4: Do not under any circumstances enter a building (home, shop, toilet block) with full length mirrors EVER.
5: The amount of repetitive chanting you do, e.g,  'get dressed now' 'get dressed now' 'get dressed now' 'get dressed now' 'get dressed now', would put a Tibetan monk to shame.
6: Alcohol is the only access pass to adulthood that you've got left.  
7: 'Failure to thrive' is not a condition only newborns experience.
8: Learn how to cook colourless, flavourless yet nutritionally packed meals in 10 minutes or less.
9: Forensic scientists should employ children who are fussy eaters.
10. Despite (or maybe because of) all of the above - your children will still be the last thing you think about at night (with fondness maybe even an aching heart), and the first thing you think about when you wake up, and I am guessing it will be that way for the rest of my days.

Facing one's fears

Being a mother of 2 young children I have many fears to face - some worse than others - and some very unrealistic and the cause of great laughter to friends with older children - but all very real concerns for me - especially if they are events, experiences that haven't actually happened ... but could ! It seems I spend a lot of time worrying about those things that haven't happened and don't even look like happening ....but could ... seriously ! 
But one of the fears I have known could and will happen, and I have spent a lot of energy worrying about when it will, is ..... Head Lice. Even the thought of it used to make me feel queasy - as a child I never had this issue, and so I have (foolishly) led myself to believe that only dirty and nasty kids get lice - and it was only when I started meeting really nice (and seemingly clean) people that I realised how deluded I had been, and, in fact, dirty and nasty people (well perhaps just dirty), are the LEAST likely to get those damn critters. 

So keeping in mind all this anxiety, plus the fact that I still deluded myself into believing only Kids get it, one can only imagine the horror and humiliation when I found myself sitting in the chair at my slightly glamorous hair dresser (another delusional issue in my life), and was informed that I had HEAD LICE !!!!!!    Apart from nearly throwing up on the slightly glamour hairdresser (who was now treating me like a leper), I realised I had finally crossed the threshold - it had happened. Thoughts in my head went a bit like this for the next 20 minutes: How, why, when, why, how, why, shit ...what now, why, when, how, OMG what do I do, how, why, when, OMG I'm dirty and nasty ....

The postscript to this story is probably one familiar to those who have been there - done that - I've spent half a mortgage at the chemist, have drained the earth's water resources due to the amount of washing, and have taken on monkey-like qualities with my children (who have NOT got the critters - Oh the irony!)

The other postscript is this ... like many things with pregnancy, birthing and now parenting - the things you spend so long worrying about  - aren't always as bad as you thought they were going to be - humiliating perhaps - but just part of the crap that you find yourself doing, that you never really thought you would have to deal with - but you do - and as weird as this sounds - there is a sort of strength to be had from that - and a lesson that perhaps we should worry less about what might happen, and know that if it does - we are probably going to manage and be ok. 

BFF

One of the things I have learnt over the years is the necessity of really meaningful friendship, and the trust and acceptance really good friends provide, and the important role they play - both in good times and bad.

Last weekend I was lucky enough to jump on a plane and be with two of my dearest and oldest friends in a seaside location where we just relaxed, laughed and shared all the details of our lives that we never have the time to do. We all achieved organisational miracles to be able to leave our families, and were all more than ready to only have ourselves to worry about and to just be us.

We’ve done this before and have committed to making it an annual event because we all need it – not just the time out, but also the nourishment we get from our friendship and being with each other. We all have friends in different places that are associated with the different stages of our lives and our children’s lives. But the reality is that try as we might, these people can never really know us like we know each other.  More than 25 years of friendship means all the laughs, secrets, tragedies, heartache, embarrassing moments and personal growth and change that we have shared has given us something special, that is very unique and which we all cherish.

Last weekend is my way of making sure I never lose that precious gift and always make time for it, so that I will always have these girls in my life …for as long as that life exists.

  

The Summer Holidays ...and our love affair with the WA Southern Coast

Packed the car with as many essentials as we could - a lot of surf craft, sand toys, books, chairs, food and not much else (a few shorts and swimmers), said goodbye to the heat and headed south with a lot of anticipation and excitement about our two week pilgrimage to just some of the many beautiful spots along the great southern coast of WA. We were not disappointed...

There were many beaches where it was just us

Lots of time to just float around

Many adventures in the kayak and the boards

Lots of sand castles and holes were built

Lots of hanging in the big trees and beautiful bush

Lots of blueberries were picked and eaten

Lots of rock climbing and exploring

and time to think

I've only known these places for a short time but its got under my skin.  I feel so blessed that I can share these experiences, this incredible unspoilt landscape with my children and enable them to have this as their summer holiday experience and memories ....

Words

and the to was 

we in of 

I see my it 

.........................................................................................................................................
Learning words is big in our house at the moment. 
Sight words, sounding out words, songs about letters and vowels, and lots of questions about combinations of letters and what they mean - most of which are meaningless (to me & the rest of the 'not 5 years old' world). 

The fact is though, I love the whole process of watching my boy learn letters and words.
I am so keen for him to learn words so that he can read that I have to be really careful that my enthusiasm doesn't flow into pressure to get it right, that then starts a spiral of losing the sheer love of learning and wonder at realising you are seeing letters and words everywhere, and how cool that is and how you want to learn more! The teacher has emphasised more than once to me that there is to be "no pressure", and only to praise and let it come naturally - I fear she's sensing something. I know that many parents are reacting strongly to the state curriculum that is now really focused on getting 4 and 5 year olds prepared for reading (or should I say Naplan?). I can see that it there is a place for worrying that we are rushing them, and not letting nature takes its course a little more at such a tender age. One mother said to me "they have their whole life to learn to read and write" which is true and let's face it, as adults many of us are still struggling to perfect our writing skills, and reading is a craft I still work at. But such parents still seem to subscribe to the age old wisdom that its perfect to teach a foreign language and music to kids at an early age because they are like sponges and find it so much easier to learn ...so why not reading ? 

I have loved reading for as long as I can remember, and my life has been punctuated by periods of intense reading and some life changing books. It is a love that has kept me company as a young child through to adulthood and continues to -it has created friendships and been the source of wonderful conversations. An ideal holiday is one where there are many good books involved.  I still reread Joseph Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness' on a semi-regular basis, largely just to relive the feeling I had at 16 when I started to understand how layered narrative could be and just how brilliant literature truly was.

But I as I sit with my boy and explain how all these words are the keys to open that door  of discovery, I know I have to be patient, and to accept that maybe it won't be his love, that maybe he will find joy and comfort and meaning in other things, and that, in so doing, he will teach me to see the world in different ways too. 

a day in the life of 6163

Got the bike out again today to ride Boy Wonder over to visit a friend in his neighbourhood - made it (miracle) ! On route saw another 6163 mum with her boys riding the streets in the (nearly) requisite transport for this neighbourhood - the cargo bike - gave her a wave and went on my merry way. Then I saw another mum friend with her 2 juniors on route to the park where others would be gathering. Stopped... chatted - said I'd see her soon with little Miss. Dropped Boy Wonder and had a good chat with Boy Wonder's friend's mum about various sustainability measures in their house and the beauty of gardening I could have talked all day but it was off to the park to hang out with some mum friends where the conversation ranged (amongst many things) from current fiction and non-fiction people are reading, the negatives and positives of reading the blogs of other mums, and cooking wholefood ...or not. Then it was back to someone's house to extend the never ending desire of our children to keep playing, and allow us mums to keep the conversation going - as best one can with kids. Then it was off to drop a food parcel to a mum whose husband is away - just as someone did for me last week when my partner in crime was away, to make someone's life that little bit easier and just to know people in the neighbourhood are thinking of you - which was how I felt. 
What on earth is this all about you ask ?... well, for a while now I've been thinking about community - what does it really mean to be a part of a community, do they really exist, will I ever be a part of one, or find one for my children that meets what I think I want for them to experience ? I have looked for a long time, but since moving to 6163 and slowly establishing my life and my children's lives here I have days like today (which are really very standard in this place & happen all the time), where I realise how good it makes me feel that I know the people I see around my neighbourhood and not only that, I really like a lot of them and my children want to hang out with their children, and we seem to share some of the same views and manage to have interesting conversations about all sorts of things, and I stop and think that, sure it isn't perfect, but maybe, just maybe, I... we ... belong .... and that this IS community.

How did it come to this ?

I've always considered myself fit(ish), and while I know I am one of those people who has very intense periods of exercise - [i have been a gym junkie, running junkie and weight lifting junkie (through both pregnancies which, looking back, probably was pretty alarming for all those beefcake boys who would stare at me in horror)]- followed by lulls, I generally seemed to maintain it.  These days any form of formal exercise has been left in the 'no time for that' pile, and in terms of getting my 30 minutes a day I figured all the running around and picking crap up continually was good enough (physically at least, certainly not mentally). But Oh how WRONG I WAS !
Recently I was confronted with the extent to which I have: 
a) let it all go;
b) been deluding myself that I haven't let it all go; and,
c)  how much pain it is going to take to get it back.  

In a moment of spontaneity I threw little (not so light) Miss on the back of the push bike and set off for her circus class. I expected some tension in the thighs but the extent of lactic acid that flooded through my system 5 minutes into the big hill started to concern me - i tried to distract myself by adding up exactly how long it had been since i got on the bike - and as I added up the months it started to dawn on me that not only was I not going to make it to circus class on time - I wasn't going to make it at all, in fact.... I was going to be sick... and I was.  

The horror, the humiliation, the hilarity of my pathetic state lying on the kerb in a cold sweat, with my poor daughter - still strapped in the bike lying on her side - watching me with that blank expression my kids have when I am having a meltdown or generally in some crazy scenario. I lay there considering my options, which included calling a cab, or walking home, which eventually we did - slowly. 

The pain continued for the rest of the day and it took medication and 11 hours sleep to recover (physically), but the humiliation and fear remain, and I now face the daunting task of working out how and where I start. 

So if you see a lone figure walking briskly around 6163, or throwing up on the kerb - you'll know I'm doing my best.